Send Me

In high school, I began to ask the same question that most teenagers ask themselves: What am I going to do with the rest of my life?! This question can be overwhelming and at the time I made a decision to study art in university. I thought I had life figured out.

In England, I headed towards the end of my first year of university, with no concrete plans for the summer until a conversation with an old family friend. She knew of a summer camp in America looking for lifeguards. Spend the summer in America? Why not? Little did I know how my life would be transformed.

I had grown up attending church, but other activities soon got in the way and church was easily pushed to one side. I never had a personal relationship with Christ.

I spent the summer working at the American camp, and saw how lives were changed. Throughout the summer my heart was convicted, and the Spirit of Christ invaded my life. I had a personal experience with Jesus, and I committed my life to Him.

Jesus showed me so much. I saw His care for me, love for me, compassion for me. His deep love for me transformed my life, as I started to walk with Him, my life changed completely.

I returned to university but something was different. I wasn’t really sure what direction I wanted to go in life. I loved art, so I continued along my degree path. However, my life was different with Christ. I started to become more involved in church activities. I loved being a part of those. The more my relationship with Christ grew, the more I wanted to be involved in the church.

I felt like my life was a crossroad: family, school, and church. I often felt conflicted: school pleased my family, but as time went by it didn’t please me. I remember the many emotions that filled my head during this time. Something had changed with Christ in my life and all of a sudden my ambitions were being redirected. My desire to do other things diminished, while my desire to serve Christ flourished. I did not know what this desire meant, but I knew that serving Christ made me feel whole.

I vividly remember sitting in church and the Scripture that day was from Isaiah’s commission. As I read though the Scripture the question jumped off the page: “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for Us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’ (Isaiah 6:8 NIV) I just remember praying, “Here am I. Send me.”

It was then that God opened a door in my life. It was a struggle as I wanted to run through that open door, but at the same time it was difficult. There was fear, lots of questions, and doubt at this decision. God continued to open the door, and as I wrestled with God to give me clear direction, I saw fear gave way to confidence, answers displaced questions, and doubt was replaced by assurance. I knew that serving Christ made me feel whole. God was indeed calling me to ministry.

As I reflect on my call, it becomes clear to me what happens from a simple prayer and willingness to say yes to God, no matter where it takes you. There has been some wrestling and some discerning, but God’s call in my life is clear.

Captain Gillian Rogers | Territorial Youth Officer | Eastern Territory

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